My Email Went Unheard

C is a bit of geek so there’s no way she didn’t read the email, or she forwarded all messages from me to the trash… so I’m ignored either way.  I almost went two weeks and I thought that I was okay… then a I get message from her.  Yeah I was up most of the night and the whiskey helped me sleep.  It took almost 6 years to tell someone that I was ready to tell them I loved them.  I didn’t think it would ever happen again and when I was finally ready and comfortable enough to say it… the walk of shame happens.  I’ve been playing Finley Quaye “Dice” every time I check my mail, it’s the song that sort of fits the mood.  Part of me really want her to have her back, but I guess it really is gone.  With V I had to wait years for closure and what if’s in my head; with C I got it within two weeks.  I guess it takes care of all of those what if’s in my head, but it still hurts.  Being the good guy isn’t all that great for the good guy.