Even though R wanted to be friends it just felt like when we were chatting that she wasn’t quite sure. I know I have trust issues and I’m working on that, but I just don’t feel something is right. We txt all day long back and forth, and she calls me obsessed with her on facebook. She makes tons of dirty jokes, but the past day or so she hasn’t liked them when I did them. She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship, but had this thing about being a good lover on her profile and I make a joke and she says it wasn’t meant for me. Relationships just aren’t for me, being single is way easier. I mean getting hurt when you have feelings for someone is like the worst pain ever and for me thats all I get. I never get the normal stable relationships, I get crazy crazy unstable ones. I don’t care if shes joking I know that from some of her posts that shes trying to impress someone and it’s clearly not me. Yet when can txt each other all day long and thats fun; but commenting on facebook pages, oh yeah thats way too public. I guess its for the best, I really liked her though. I have horrible taste in women its like I find the ones who will do the most damage to me mentally. I took a few years off, but the hell I’ve been through the past month and half… I don’t mind waiting another 5 years. Maybe once I get my life more stable and move some place that I like I’ll reconsider things. Dating period just isn’t worth it all.
Like I’ve said before the good guy never gets the girl is true. I know women say they want a good guy, but then why do they continually date bad guys? Good guys like me for the most part never stay that way, because after getting treated badly over and over again… eventually they become bad guys. Personally I think I’m so close that if I wasn’t taking an hiatus from dating, I would surely become one. I always knew that R was important where we ended up having a relationship or not; I just prayed that we did. After her comments on facebook I truly am free, she humiliated me in front of her friends. So even if we had a relationship, they’d always remember that she basically called me a loser. She’s going a way for a day, but I’m sure she’ll txt me and will act like nothing happened or maybe thinking I’ve forgotten. So basically I’m not good enough to be in a relationship with or having me comment and post on stuff on facebook; but apparently it’s okay we we txt each other from the time we get up in the morning till one of us goes to sleep. I sure do know how to pick them.
The bright side is that I now don’t need to feel guilty or wonder what if I had done stuff differently, causing not having contact with her can only be a good thing.
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