Yeah I lost R

I know that I’m reading into it a bit, but I’m pretty sure my chances of being anything other than friends with R are pretty much set in stone.  A few days ago I noticed R hid her relationship status from everybody and then I was looking through a friend of hers and saw he had set it to a relationship with R.  I guess a week and half earlier when she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship… it was more just cause it was me.  I guess I knew this was coming, I do feel like a loser.  I guess this means my 5 year thing into being alone and getting my life straightened out has begun and its sucks.  I never get the girl so I don’t know what I was expecting, hell I don’t even get to have a crappy dead end relationship.  Yeah the person who said theres somebody for everyone obviously never met me.  Sure I know that looks mean everything even though people don’t say it, but its good that I have finally accepted it.  It’s just tough being alone and feeling alone.  The worst part is that I’m going to get reminded of how shes in this relationship every time we talk, so it’s a constant reminder to me.  I know I know, you’re thinking its her loss; but I lose a lot, so for me it’s constant.