V on MySpace

     The dream from the other day has had me pretty freaked, I mean when you have one of those lost love dreams. You never seem to be aware that it’s a dream, even though pink elephants can be walking through central park and you’re just okay with it… that’s normal. I mean if I knew it were a dream I’d be having like mad sex, yet I never do and just seem to play out my mind’s weird idea for fu**ing with me.

     Yeah because I don’t feel crappy enough that I left the love of my life go and I can’t get her back. That’s when the really weird s**t started happening. Last night (I only got 4.5 hours of sleep to which you’ll learn why in the next couple of sentences), I got this urge to just search V’s name on MySpace search and it never yielded any results before, but now was different. I had found V’s brother on MySpace (but he really hates me, so asking for help to find his sister was certainly out of the question), and I also found V’s sister (she always liked me and thought that me and V were a good fit; but would she remember me after all of this time?).

     I decided not to play the sister card until I was sure there weren’t any options. I had decided a couple of months ago to give up looking for V, I wasn’t like a stalker, but I just wanted to make sure she was okay and if she needed help or something.

     I had occasionally done a search for her online, but not once had anything relevant come up. I mean for someone our age not to at minimum have a MySpace or Facebook page would be odd, so I chalked it up to the fact that she might not be alive anymore. I wasn’t happy with the idea but I couldn’t find anything to support she was even alive anymore. At that point I decided that maybe I should leave well enough alone, it was better to have a positive memory of her then to realize I may have dodged a bullet.

     So when I did the search, her name popped up and she literally lives like two hours away. She recently started a MySpace profile in like June… just couldn’t fu**ing believe it. I check her photo album and it was her, my god I almost forgot how hot she was.

     Then the question wasn’t if I should email her, I mean what if she’s not the same person I once knew; I mean I did learn she has at least one kid. I think it’s a question that most guys ask themselves if they met the girl of their dreams could they overlook the fact they are not the father to her present day kids. I mean for any other girl, the answer would clearly be NO, but for V… I might just do anything for her. I mean yes some other guy is the father, but they are still 50% her… and what I claim to do is love V, so accepting the kids shouldn’t be a problem.

     I will admit I have doubts that I could do it, but for V I would sure as hell try. That’s why I only slept 4.5 hours, and when I woke up I just sat on the couch and thought. So I did it….